This is day 40.
Many years ago, I read in Scripture for the first time that God is a jealous God, an all-consuming fire (Deut. 4:24). I don’t know if I came up with this or I read it somewhere (a quick Google search turned up nothing), but I imagined fire doors. You know those big heavy doors in buildings? The ones that have a sign “Must remain shut”? The think, heavy doors would contain a fire to a room and not allow it to go any further?
I imagined that parts of my life were behind fire doors, that there were areas I wasn’t sure I wanted to let in to now that I knew He was this all-consuming fire.
I think of the Misty Edwards song:
All consuming fire
You’re our hearts desire
Living flame of love
Come baptize us
Come baptize us
40 days ago, I let God into an area of my life where He’s been before. I would crack the door open a little with my prayers of “I don’t want to struggle with this any longer!” but I would eventually slam the door shut again, thus shutting out the fire. This time, I have tried to prop the doors open to God. That’s one reason I decided to share so publicly about it.
Today’s Bible reading contained one of my favorite passages of Scripture:
“For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses. We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 (NASB)
For 40 days, though I am walking in my fleshly body, I have been fighting a new battle. I’ve called it “breaking up with food,” for lack of a better phrase. I’m not warring against my physical body. This is a spiritual battle. It’s a battle for my heart.
I quoted it before, and I will quote it again:
You’re after my heart and You’re gonna win it
You’re after my heart and I’m gonna give it
And every piece, and every part
You’re after it all, oh, You’re after my heart
Some days I give Him all of my heart, and some days I only crack open the doors. But no matter what, He will win it, every piece and every part.
Bible Reading: 2 Corinthians 9-10
Prayer Cards Prayed: Check
Food Tracked: Check
Daily Reading: Check
Worship in Song: Check
Choosing to Trust: Check