Category Archives: Breaking Up With Food

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Today I woke up to a flying ant infestation in my office. More on this in a second!

In reading through old journals, I can across this chorus I wrote a LONG time ago. I sang this during my worship time the other day.

Forever, I will praise
Through joy & hurt, I’ll praise
Through pain & peace, I’ll praise
No matter what, I’ll praise You anyways!

I remember the Corrie ten Boom story where her sister was thanking God for the fleas in their sleeping area at the concentration camp. Corrie could not bring herself to do so – until she found out the fleas were the reason the guards stayed out of their barracks. This enabled them to have Bible studies and prayer times freely, and if I remember the story correctly, the Bible they hid was never discovered.

I don’t have quite the miracle story! But I am looking on the bright side. I am a fairly messy person, and because of these flying ants, I’ve had to pack everything on my desks up, move my desks, vacuum and organize. I haven’t gotten too far because I had to work all day, but I will!

I have a lot more I wanted to say, but today is one of those days where I have wrestled to check off the list below – which makes it all the more important to do so! I work every Saturday right now 6:30-11 (yes, AM!). Then today I cleaned for about 75 minutes, had a quick lunch, and snuck in some reading before a 2 ½ hour meeting. I got dinner in the oven, had a snack, and then tried to finish the list below while breaking up kids’ fighting and continuing to make dinner. Still calling today a “win” with more to share in the future.

Bible Reading: 2 Peter 1-3
Prayer Cards Prayed: Check
Food Tracked: Check
Activity: Check
Daily Reading: Check
Worship in Song: Check
Choosing to Trust: Check

Day 5: Breaking Up with Food

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Hey! I got through day 5! Well, I’m still awake, so not quite yet 🙂

Today, I’m a little tired and a bit overwhelmed – not sure by what. I am helping out with a tragedy in an old friend’s family, organizing to meet some needs. I’m glad to help, but it’s been a bit more time-consuming than I anticipated.

I do thrive a bit on routine, especially in the morning. I did not get out for a walk first thing. My family needed me, so that also means I didn’t read the Bible right away. As I’m typing this, I haven’t even worshipped or prayed through my prayer cards, and it’s 5 PM! So I probably should have done these things before I put so much time into the other situation. Thankfully, I don’t need to do much more concerning that for a few days.

Also, another situation I hoped would turn around isn’t. That’s bothering me.

I stopped writing to worship and pray. When I worship in song, I usually just grab the guitar and see what comes out. I meandered to this song:

I will not forget You are my God, my King
With a thankful heart I bring my offering
And my sacrifice is not what You can give
But what I alone can give to you

A grateful heart I give, A thankful prayer I pray,
A wild dance I dance before you
A loud song I sing, A huge bell I ring,
A life of praise I live before You

“I Will Not Forget You” by 100 Portraits

It’s a beautiful song. If you haven’t heard it before, have a listen. Can you guess which line is my favorite?

I need to remember God in all that I do. He has done so much.

I had a long passage of scripture I copied into my journal today. I’ll just link to it here if you want to read.

Bible Reading: 1 Peter 2-5
Prayer Cards Prayed: Check
Food Tracked: Check
Activity: Check
Daily Reading: Check
Worship in Song: Check
Choosing to Trust: Check

Day 4: Breaking Up with Food

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I have always wanted to experience a “zap” moment in my relationship with food – a moment where Jesus meets me at the altar or in my prayer time and suddenly, I’m completely healed and free! I know exactly how to eat and when to eat and how much to eat, skipping at a healthy weight off into the sunset!

I think I wrote about this in my book 😉

The other extreme from the “zap” moment mentality is complacency or even hopelessness, where you have asked over and over for God’s help, and yet you feel like He has done nothing. So you begin to wonder if this is just how life is going to be? Struggling at this level until heaven?

I know logically that it is a cooperation. I do what I can do and God does what only He can do. I exercise my “no” muscle when it comes to food. I make better choices and use some sort of system (even if it’s hunger and fullness cues – which doesn’t currently work for me, and perhaps I’ll write more about that another time) to keep my food in check. And I consistently ask God to empower me to choose Him instead of food.

“Consistently” is the key word there. I would often ask God for help, of course, but then I needed to follow through and allow Him to change me as I made better choices.

That’s why the book is called “Learning to Walk in Freedom.” Somehow, despite writing an entire book on the topic, I have clearly struggled to put this into practice in the area of breaking up with food!

“Obey God because you are his children; don’t slip back into your old ways—doing evil because you knew no better. 1But be holy now in everything you do, just as the Lord is holy, who invited you to be his child.” 1 Peter 1:14-15

Well, once you know better, you do better, so I’m putting it into practice now! I didn’t sleep well last night (fatigue is another food trigger for me), but still chose well today. I also added worshipping to my checklist, whether it’s along with a recording or on my guitar (I don’t have a piano at home). Today, I sang “My Heart Will Trust” after breaking out in Psalm 23 during prayer time.

Bible Reading: 1 Peter 1 & Psalm 23
Prayer Cards Prayed: Check
Food Tracked: Check
Activity: Check
Daily Reading: Check
Worship in Song: Check
Choosing to Trust: Check

Day 3: Breaking Up with Food

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I ended yesterday with a headache. Having a headache is a trigger for me, food-wise, because I get an upset stomach that is often only calmed with food. I laid down for an hour and woke worse, with a very unhappy tummy. I had already scheduled yesterday’s update to post, and so despite really, really wanting to overeat, I ate a reasonable snack, tracked it, and went about my headache-y business. I am prone to headaches, so I need to continue to look for solutions for settling my stomach that still qualify as breaking up with food.

Today was better. I even felt a glimmer of joy and hope. Yesterday, I felt really down as my headache grew. Food has been the friend I run to during trying times. I sat outside, praying and realizing for the millionth time that only God can fill that need. He may not always heal the pain, but He is always near if we draw near (as I coincidentally read today in James 4:8).

I’m writing this really late after work because I had a very busy day. I will leave you with a Scripture, all of which I wrote in cursive in my journal after coming across it in my daily Bible reading (I print my own thoughts in my journal and use cursive for God’s Word). It’s long, but please read it. It was both extremely convicting and oddly comforting.

“You are like an unfaithful wife who loves her husband’s enemies. Don’t you realize that making friends with God’s enemies—the evil pleasures of this world—makes you an enemy of God? I say it again, that if your aim is to enjoy the evil pleasure of the unsaved world, you cannot also be a friend of God. Or what do you think the Scripture means when it says that the Holy Spirit, whom God has placed within us, watches over us with tender jealousy? But he gives us more and more strength to stand against all such evil longings. As the Scripture says, God gives strength to the humble but sets himself against the proud and haughty.

So give yourselves humbly to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. And when you draw close to God, God will draw close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and let your hearts be filled with God alone to make them pure and true to him. Let there be tears for the wrong things you have done. Let there be sorrow and sincere grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy. Then when you realize your worthlessness before the Lord, he will lift you up, encourage and help you.” James 4:4-10

Bible Reading: James 3-5
Prayer Cards Prayed: Check
Food Tracked: Check
Activity: Check
Daily Reading: Check
Choosing to Trust: Check

Day 2: Breaking Up with Food

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Some people tell me I overshare – that I’m too transparent.

This is one of those times I think I agree.

But not because it’s really an accurate assessment.

I like to share about things I have gone through and figured out. Yes, many of them are deeply personal. But I share because look! The problem is now tucked away in a box and tied up with a neat, little bow. I can speak freely of it because I (oh, yeah, with God’s help, of course) solved that problem.

I mentioned I’ve been looking over old journals. I have to see it feels pretty pathetic to see how year after year, I write about the same struggle with food.

That’s why I hesitate to write about all of this – but I’m going to write anyway. Despite the fact that I feel like I should have this figured out already, every day but Sunday, I will share a few (likely) random thoughts about breaking up with food.

I read this in James 2:12-13:

You will be judged on whether or not you are doing what Christ wants you to. So watch what you do and what you think; or there will be no mercy to those who have shown no mercy. But if you have been merciful, then God’s mercy toward you will win out over his judgment against you.

Perhaps that’s not the most encouraging Scripture, but I needed to read it today. I’m grateful for God’s mercy today because I haven’t always been obedient in this area. God wants me to break up with food and the improper place it has held in my life, and so I trudge forward.

Thanks for trudging with me.

Daily Stuff
Bible Reading: James 1-2
Prayer Cards Prayed: Check
Food Tracked: Check
Activity: Check
Daily Reading Read: Check
Choosing to Trust: Check

Day 1: Breaking Up with Food

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I started my day with a peaceful walk around the neighborhood. I always find that clears the mind. After coming home, my Bible reading for the day began in Hebrews 11.

The people listed in chapter 11 in the book of Hebrews are often called the “heroes of the faith.” I’m not a big fan of that title. It makes the men and women mentioned in the chapter seem almost inaccessible. I noticed in the way the Living Bible paraphrases this chapter, the word “trust” appears 12 times. I’d rather think of the chapter as being about “regular people who chose to trust God – and look what God did.” But that’s kind of long 🙂 So let’s just call it “trusters of God.”

Chapter 12 begins with this verse:

“Since we have such a huge crowd of men of faith watching us from the grandstands, let us strip off anything that slows us down or holds us back, and especially those sins that wrap themselves so tightly around our feet and trip us up; and let us run with patience the particular race that God has set before us.”

Very appropriate for day 1 of breaking up with food.

Also very appropriate are verses 16-17 of the chapter 12: “Watch out that no one becomes involved in sexual sin or becomes careless about God as Esau did: he traded his rights as the oldest son for a single meal. And afterwards, when he wanted those rights back again, it was too late, even though he wept bitter tears of repentance. So remember, and be careful.” I wrote a poem of sorts and a follow up to this some years ago. And I’m still learning, it seems.

Today, I’m choosing to be a “truster of God” as the folks named in Hebrews 11 were. And perhaps even more so or with a fresh understanding, since I have Jesus helping me.

“And now may the God of peace, who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, equip you with all you need for doing his will. May he who became the great Shepherd of the sheep by an everlasting agreement between God and you, signed with his blood, produce in you through the power of Christ all that is pleasing to him. To him be glory forever and ever. Amen.” Hebrews 13:20-21

Daily Stuff
Bible Reading: Hebrews 11-13
Prayer Cards Prayed: Check
Food Tracked: Check
Activity: Check
Daily Reading Read: Check
Choosing to Trust: Check

A New Series: Breaking Up with Food

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Tomorrow, I try once again for the thousandth or ten thousandth time to try and develop a healthy relationship with food – to “break up” with the hold food has on my life, in my thoughts, and on my body.

I’ve been reading through old journals lately. I started doing this a few weeks ago, looking for something very specific. I felt God brought to mind a certain scripture verse that I was just positive was mentioned at a conference my then-boyfriend and I attended 20 ½ years ago. I asked my now husband if he remembered, but he simply replied, “Sounds about right.”

And I was right. At that conference, a Scripture was mentioned. I’ll talk about this Scripture later. But it’s not really a common Scripture. The “strange” thing is my pastor mentioned it today – in church! That’s when you know God is trying to get your attention.

I know you want to know what the Scripture is, and I promise I’ll share – later. I’m trying to get to the point of the story here!

First off – I can be quite organized when I want to! You wouldn’t know it by looking at my office, but I found that journal, in the garage, in a box marked “Journals.” I found not only the journal I was looking for but a bunch I’m not sure I wanted to see.

Second off – I am DEFINITELY not where I was. Having had an eating disorder from 1988/1989 into 2002, I’m so grateful for all God has done.

Third off – I’m not where I want to be and more importantly where God wants me to be.

I won’t make this post any longer. I plan to write (almost) daily (probably not Sunday) about what I’m learning while breaking up with food. If you want to join me on this journey, subscribe below. No spam – just my posts in your inbox 🙂

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