Monday Morning Meditation: All Day Long (Psalm 25 Series)

We’re continuing the Psalm 25 series, my psalm for the year, with the 3rd installment.

Verses 4-5:

Show me your ways, O Lord,
Teach me your paths;
Guide me in your truth and teach me
For you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.

I memorized these verses several weeks ago and have found myself endlessly repeating them. Sometimes, I simply say, “All day long, Lord, all day long.”

I shared in my initial post that this psalm has sustained me through many challenging events. In September, we found out the cancer was now in the liver, that my father may only live 3-6 months, 6-12 if the chemo worked. We set a date to move, no matter what, whether the condo sold or not. That date was still 2 months away. I was struggling with hope.

I read Psalm 25 as I walked to the train the day after finding out the cancer had spread. It became my routine, as I grasped on to every word of that psalm as a deer pants for streams of water.

I still do.

We have since moved. My father lived less than 2 months, and in addition to career changes and location upheaval, I wrestle daily with what life should look like at age 37 with my father not here for me to call on the phone with questions, but present with the Lord. I’ve wondered if what I feel is grief, or am I slipping back into the depression that dominated my life for over 2 decades.

The questions that have come in this time have not been easy. Answers are coming slowly, through prayer, through clinging, through resting, through trusting.

Show me Your ways, O Lord….

Not mine, God. Yours.

Teach me Your paths
Guide me in Your truth and teach me

Let Your truth shine forth into my darkness, into the questions. Let truth be what I cling to.

For You are God my Savior, and my hope is in You all. day. long.

You are Lord. I am not. Therefore, my hope is in You and You alone.

Morning coming slowly in our new town


Joy comes in the morning, friends.

And in the mourning, too.

It is coming slowly. Like drips of living water.

I’m catching glimmers of hope and allowing God to teach me.

My hope is in Him, all day long.

Last Year’s Freedom Friday: Black Friday Edition

Friends,

In Thanksgiving 2011, I woke up at my dad’s house, went to a race in his town, and ran a 10K.  I ran a personal best, beating my 10K from 4 months before by 3 minutes.  I went home and had a wonderful day with my family (dad, my sister’s family and my family).

This Thanksgiving, I woke up in a hotel, went to that same race in town, and gave it my all at the same 10K after spending the day before moving.  I once again ran a personal best by 1 minute 45 seconds (I hadn’t raced a 10K since last years).  We went back to the hotel, finished packing and had a very simple Thanksgiving meal in our new home.

So we moved yesterday and the day before and are just now getting our internet set up.  There are boxes to pack and unpack (as most of our things are still in Boston, we will return there in a few days), movers to call, grief to process and a big paper to write.

The race was hard, and I’m sore.  Sore, but also full of joy.

I wish my dad had the opportunity to see me run.  I’m not fast, but I am passionate, and I ran hard.

2012 Ashburn Farm 10K, Finish Line

I miss my dad.

I didn’t even remember it was Friday until I logged on to the internet (thank you, Casey from Verizon for coming out to set up our internet!) and someone had posted about Black Friday.  Then I remembered this post from last year:

Freedom Friday: Black Friday Edition
Please read, especially if you are reeling a bit from the upheaval the holidays can bring.

I miss sharing my heart with you all.  I will get back into it – eventually.

Love to you!