Day 29: The More I Seek You

Today is my oldest son’s 13th birthday!

I got married later than most of my friends, and we waited 4 years to try and start a family. So I was 32 when I had my oldest.

Birthdays always seem to make me sentimental. And slightly sad. I jokingly said to my oldest this weekend that I have birthday PSTD. The thing is it’s not really a joke. My birthdays weren’t great when I was a kid. Some of them (like when I celebrated turning 14 with my mom, who was in rehab) were downright traumatic.

I’ve mostly healed from this around my own birthday. It was actually a really nice day this year. But I still wrestle with it around my kids’ birthdays.

And a pandemic birthday no less!

Thirteen feels like a big one. My son is very tall for his age (5’11”!), and I know that makes it feel as if the time is passing even more likely. I wish there were some way of knowing that I am doing this mom thing correctly for him, setting him up for success with whatever comes his way.

But there is no guarantee.

Today in my quiet time, I sang this:

The more I seek You
The more I find You

I was pretty sure I had mentioned that song before, and I did on July 20. I feel good about my choices this past week and humbled at the same time. I’m just so glad I don’t have to try and do life without Jesus.

Bible Reading: 1 Corinthians 7-8 (Sunday), 9-10 (Today)
Prayer Cards Prayed: Check
Food Tracked: Check
Activity: Check
Daily Reading: Check
Worship in Song: Check
Choosing to Trust: Check

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