I was really touched and challenged by the following article written by Mike Ensley, a friend of mine who also write for Boundless, called “When The Darkness Closes In“.
The title of the article is a line from the Matt Redman son, “Blessed Be Your Name”. I have a love/hate relationship with this song. Don’t get me wrong; it’s an amazing song. But it’s also a challenging one, and since the miscarriage, I cannot sing it without breaking into tears. The Scripture that much of the song is based on is the one that was running through my head as I waited to find out if I was really having a miscarriage. It is Job’s words that he said after being informed he had lost almost everything, included all of his children: “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I shall return there. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away. Blessed be the name of the LORD.”
The article is about many things, including depression – something I’ve struggled with on & off for my whole life. You should really go read it. Here’s a quote.
Depression affects people in unique ways. In times when I’m hit by something much more potent than “the blues,” it manifests in a sort of social anxiety. I’ll get claustrophobic in a place like a movie theater, a mall — or church. There’s no real reason, no specific dread that occupies my mind; only the same emotion as if there were. I crave nothing but quiet and solitude. The experience is hard to describe, other than to say it can be very uncomfortable and even disheartening.